I would like to say sorry for being me sometimes..

Many times since starting my new job I have been told I am a "happy girl". The other thing I am told on occasion by guys, is that I am not like other girls. This is mainly because they can pitch most guy topic (except soccer) and I have no problem being part of the discussion. They can relate, communicate and seem surprised. I have been told this twice this past week.

On the down side, I tend to speak too much when I am not comfortable, this is when I should really take a deep breath and relax. I also tend to take the "thunder" away from people around me in these situations, and I usually feel really bad about it afterwards. I would like to say sorry for being me sometimes..

It is a good thing that a lot of people around me see the happy and the people person in me, I wonder if the people most important to me could see the good parts of who I am.

Hug

A hug would be pretty good right about now..

Scary thought.. I was never hugged, even once, in the period between 2000 and 2005, maybe even longer.. I gave away a few though. it is not the same as getting one.. I guess it is due to me not opening up much. Problem is that when I do people seem to run pretty fast..

yeah, a hug would be nice....

Perfect sex

Sex can be an extremely selfish act -involving two people... If one manages to find the common and keep the selfishness .. perfection..

Months or years can go by with it going one or the other way, but as long as perfection can be achieved too- all is well. Part of Loving someone is giving them the space to be completly selfish at times.. One can only hope that the two people involved want to give and recieve, in addition to explore, to find the common ground of perfection most of the time. To expect two people to be in synch emotionally for 50 years straight is just naive.

My two cents of perfection, maybe I am naive...

Spot

I have a spot.
It is a wonderful little spot.
It is well protected in my brain.
I am not able to reach it by myself.
It is connected to my heart and my hands.
It can be reached at any moment from any distance.
I am not not able to give you a map nor directions to it.
It can be reached by words, a look or touch, but there is a secret.
I have a spot, you found it.

Makeup

Refreshing.. Yes, they look like normal people without the feathers...
Good to know that it takes a few hours in front of the mirror with professional make up artists even for these people.. Every woman should have two pictures of their favorite female star on their make up mirror- one with and one without makeup..
Interesting how this triggers the expectations of all women to look like supermodels 24-7.. when the supermodels and the movie stars can't pull it off..

Bugger

I have a new companion. We have been together for days, but are still not friends. I think he is sick with a bug. He coughs when I use him sometimes. Today he just froze with no warning. Since he is still young his vocabulary is limited. It takes a long time to teach these little guys how to speak properly when you want to communicate. I hope we will be able to take care of his bugs and teach him to speak correctly, maybe we will become friends. I have a new phone.